Real or Ego?

 

Are you reacting from a place of ego or is it deeper? Is it coming from a thought in your head or something more? To understand this, first we have to identify what ego is.

 

Ego:

-I am what I have.

-I am what I do.

-I am what other people think.

-I am separate from you.

-I am what’s missing from my life.

-Doesn’t like to be vulnerable.

-Doesn’t like not having control.

-Likes to be angry.

-Feeds on conflict.

This helps me, identify quickly that I’m reacting from my ego. Most thoughts that stem from ego begin with,“How dare you…speak to me that way or treat me that way. Or “Who do you think you are?” Feeling this way towards another is probably being directed from an angry place and you are offended in some way.

We’ve all been guilty of this. I just didn’t know when to recognize it before. I thought for years that ego was someone who walked around like they were better than you or bragged a lot. This is a form but ego, by definition, is larger than just that. Sometimes it can be more challenging to recognize it but if you have a larger understanding of your true-self then it becomes clearer.

How do we know if we are coming from a place of ego or something deeper? 

This is how I gauge it:

I really pay attention to my thoughts and emotions. By being in tune to this, I monitor my reactions and delve deeper. Sometimes, I have to step away to have time to not react. If I’m trying to separate myself from that person as if I am better than they are, it’s my ego. If I can look at their actions or words from a place of empathy, I know that it something real. If something really struck me in a painful way, I try to understand this within myself.

Obviously, if they’re triggering me, there’s something I need to address in my subconscious. I turn away from justifying it with thinking, it’s because they did such and such to me. The real work isn’t trying to figure someone else out, it’s knowing who you truly are. Knowing your true-self is knowing that your identity is of your own inner spirit. When I’m able to identify this, I understand the other person or situation more. I then know if this is a person or circumstance that I can walk away from peacefully and sometimes permanently.

Please share, if you have more to add or comment.

Love, Light, & Blessings,

Janelle

 

Feeling Overwhelmed?

 

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It can be easy to feel overwhelmed and is stressful.

It seems that everyone is multi-tasking to keep up with daily responsibilities and expectations. As a mother, I can tend to feel overwhelmed from time to time. I honestly used to feel overwhelmed a lot in previous years but have since worked to keep my stress level at a minimum as a personal decision for my health.

I start out my day with a positive attitude and set my intention for the day along with some helpful things that can support that. 

Here are some things that I do that may help you:

Don’t look too far ahead – if you have a busy week or month ahead of you, by thinking of all the tasks you need to get done as a whole, is a lot to wrap your mind around. The focus needs to be today. What do you need to accomplish today? If there is an appointment that you need to schedule or call about today for a future date, that makes that call part of what you need to get done today.

Prioritize – If it helps you to make a list, by all means use this simple tool. This could also help you identify which tasks need to be done first. As you start scratching off the items you’ve completed, it makes you feel accomplished. This could also help you so that you don’t forget or feel like you forgot something.

Identify Your Goals – What kind of results would you like to have today? If you feel it’s impossible for you to get everything completed today, ask for help. Ask yourself, can it wait until tomorrow? If so, then it goes on the list you make for the next day. If you think, but my to do list tomorrow is large too! That’s tomorrow! Use this process each day that you need it.

Learn To Say No – It is a priority of mine that if I say I’m going to do something, I do it. I want people in my life to know they can count on me. In order to fulfill that goal, I have to be aware of my abilities and when to say no. I would rather say no than disappoint someone who was counting on me. Sometimes circumstances happen that are beyond our control and we aren’t able to keep our obligation. However, if this is not a habit, they are more likely to be understanding.

Follow-Up – This is especially important if you are working with others to accomplish a project. It will give you peace of mind and possibly remind that person. Maybe you need it so you can set reminders for yourself on your computer or phone.

Give Yourself A Break – It can be helpful to step away for five minutes so you can clear your head, take some deep breaths, and get your motivation in order. Also, if you are constantly on the go and beat yourself up if you don’t complete every single task on your list. You are only one person and can only do one thing at a time. Beating yourself up about it, isn’t going to help you be more productive.

Still feeling overwhelmed? Identify your anxiety and worries. What are you afraid of? Where is this coming from? What can you do about it? Notice, I say “you.”

If you drift off to, well if so and so would do their job or help out, etc., you will only cause yourself more anguish because that is beyond your control. You can only control your own abilities, emotions, etc. You are not alone, we’ve all been in the same boat and I am speaking from personal experience. I feel it’s always good to share information that can help us all.

If you have some ideas or tips to add, please share them.

Love, Light, & Blessings,

Janelle

 

My Spiritual Journey…

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Source: google.com via She Sings on Pinterest

 

As I approach the one year anniversary of my stem cell transplant, I look back for a minute but spend most of my time looking for a purpose driven life.

I only look back with appreciation for the progress, look forward with excitement, but especially inward for growth.

Prior to getting sick in late 2007, I was always on the go. With three kids and one on the way, there was always something to be done or a place to be. Being forced to slow down, made me become still. The beauty of being still was that I could concentrate on my thoughts and emotions, which really needed some attention.

In order to stay positive, I had to monitor which direction my attitude was going because it was my goal to remain positive. When you’re uncertain about your health and feel constant pain, it can be very challenging to stay optimistic but I knew it was vital to my well-being. Luckily, by keeping a positive outlook, I now find myself moving with progress towards better health. As my body began its healing, I decided to continue my journey to heal within. I didn’t start out with the intention of going on a spiritual journey, I was led there.

“The inward journey is about finding your own fullness, something that no one else can take away.” ~Deepak Chopra

With this process, I had to be completely honest with myself, which was difficult at first but overall, powerful. I felt a connection with my real self and the world. I had to remove the obstacles so I could delve into my true Being, revealing an astounding state of love and deeper understanding of myself and of others. A renewed excitement for life, a powerful state of personal responsibility, and filled with enlightenment.

“It isn’t until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are – not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within – that you can begin to take control.” ~Oprah

I believe you can either plant seeds that grow love, faith, understanding, compassion, cooperation, accountability, gratitude, generosity, and an openness with the world and yourself. Or fear, stinginess, insincerity, blame, lack of control, insecurity, selfishness, and/or judgement that creates inner turmoil. If you plant from both spectrums, it brings in shadows that cover the light that’s needed for growth. What are you growing in your garden?

I had to align my personality with my belief system, to lead with my spirit. Knowing that I create my reality and I choose the person that I am and not by anyone else. Just like anything else, it takes practice but the benefits are worth the transition. I know that no matter what happens, I’m going to learn and grow from the lessons The Divine reveals, and know that through it and after it, I will be alright. Life still gets busy and in order not to fall back into old habits, I expand my mind and spirit with inspiration, stillness, and awareness. I will end this with one of my favorite quotes:

“You can be powerful or pitiful, but you can’t be both.” ~Joyce Meyer

Wishing you Love, Light, & Blessings!

~Janelle

Spirituality is not a dirty word.

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It seems these days that some people attach spirituality with negative emotions.

I believe it’s because they feel guilty or condemned. What is spirituality? I’d like to quote a definition that I feel is very well defined:

“Spirituality means becoming more aware, more responsible, looking at everything as sacred. Learning to interact with others in a way that is reverend. Creating harmony, cooperation, and sharing.” -Gary Zukav

I love that because there isn’t anything negative about those things. I have always been a spiritual person and never felt that my spirituality was bad as it was always the most loving part of me. However, I understand why some do with all the mixed signals there are in everyday life and messages. I believe in God as The Divine but no matter what you believe, whether it’s Source, Energy, or God; we are all spiritual beings. 

I have been on a spiritual journey for a long time but especially the past year. I’ve really been doing some “soul searching.” Although my spirit is loving, I began this process to work on some internal healing. I wanted to be in tune with my true authentic self and live to my fullest potential.

Parts of this were challenging new thoughts and beliefs that I had carried for years. I’ve really arrived in a place of peace that I’ve never felt before. This is largely due to taking personal responsibility for my life and spirit. This means I am responsible for my reality, my thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Complete responsibility for my heart, life, and soul. It is so empowering! I don’t focus on others opinions, actions, or words towards me anymore.

I don’t focus on someone else’s business or problems. I keep my focus on my own. I only work on what I can control. If another’s actions bother me to the point of bringing my positive energy down, I concentrate on why that triggers emotions in me so I can correct it. I do take suggestions into consideration, especially from those I know have my best interests in their heart. Sometimes another’s view can point something out to you.

When you know who you are, it’s easier to consider constructive criticism. Because if it is something you need to look at, you can in a loving way. When you know who you are and how incredible of a spirit you have, there isn’t time to focus on someone else’s behavior. I do look at them with empathy because what a person is dealing with internally, reflects outward. If they are behaving in a hurtful manner, they must be dealing with inner turmoil. You never know what another person is completely going through, just like they don’t know your complete inner thoughts and emotions. It is not your job to judge them, your job is to focus on being in a place of your full potential. So I bless them and go on my way, understanding they are on their own journey.

To live a great example by your own words and actions, not in judgement, is rewarding. Moving away from a positive mentality and place blame because of their behavior is not helpful to you. I know this can be challenging, it is something that I’ve had to work on myself but it can be done. Making a distinction from your true self and your ego helps. Is this really who I am or is it my ego? The spiritual path is not an easy one but very fulfilling and assists you when looking at yourself, others, and the world with great love. Here are a few more quotes that I love and resinate with me, I hope they do the same for you:

“Spiritual path is to remove obstacles so we can wake up and fully know that’s who we are. The most grounding awakening you’ll ever pursue. Spiritual instinct is to relax into the mystery of life as its happening. No matter what happens, allows you to know, you’re going to be alright.” “Spirituality is when you get very still and humble. Spirituality is where you lay claim to a ground of “being” within yourself. Where you say, “I want to be that, I really do. I want to be the person that I’m capable of being.” -Marianne Williamson

“Spiritual individuals are waking up to a dimension of their Being or their soul. It is the most real part of us. When one begins to really feel into the spiritual dimensions of their Being, they bump into love, compassion, beauty, real peace, and real joy. And that begins to be where they live their life from.” -Reverend Michael Beckwith

 Love & Blessings to you!

 Janelle