As I approach the one year anniversary of my stem cell transplant, I look back for a minute but spend most of my time looking for a purpose driven life.
I only look back with appreciation for the progress, look forward with excitement, but especially inward for growth.
Prior to getting sick in late 2007, I was always on the go. With three kids and one on the way, there was always something to be done or a place to be. Being forced to slow down, made me become still. The beauty of being still was that I could concentrate on my thoughts and emotions, which really needed some attention.
In order to stay positive, I had to monitor which direction my attitude was going because it was my goal to remain positive. When you’re uncertain about your health and feel constant pain, it can be very challenging to stay optimistic but I knew it was vital to my well-being. Luckily, by keeping a positive outlook, I now find myself moving with progress towards better health. As my body began its healing, I decided to continue my journey to heal within. I didn’t start out with the intention of going on a spiritual journey, I was led there.
“The inward journey is about finding your own fullness, something that no one else can take away.” ~Deepak Chopra
With this process, I had to be completely honest with myself, which was difficult at first but overall, powerful. I felt a connection with my real self and the world. I had to remove the obstacles so I could delve into my true Being, revealing an astounding state of love and deeper understanding of myself and of others. A renewed excitement for life, a powerful state of personal responsibility, and filled with enlightenment.
“It isn’t until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are – not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within – that you can begin to take control.” ~Oprah
I believe you can either plant seeds that grow love, faith, understanding, compassion, cooperation, accountability, gratitude, generosity, and an openness with the world and yourself. Or fear, stinginess, insincerity, blame, lack of control, insecurity, selfishness, and/or judgement that creates inner turmoil. If you plant from both spectrums, it brings in shadows that cover the light that’s needed for growth. What are you growing in your garden?
I had to align my personality with my belief system, to lead with my spirit. Knowing that I create my reality and I choose the person that I am and not by anyone else. Just like anything else, it takes practice but the benefits are worth the transition. I know that no matter what happens, I’m going to learn and grow from the lessons The Divine reveals, and know that through it and after it, I will be alright. Life still gets busy and in order not to fall back into old habits, I expand my mind and spirit with inspiration, stillness, and awareness. I will end this with one of my favorite quotes:
“You can be powerful or pitiful, but you can’t be both.” ~Joyce Meyer
Wishing you Love, Light, & Blessings!