As I approach the one year anniversary of my stem cell transplant, I look back for a minute but spend most of my time looking for a purpose driven life.

I only look back with appreciation for the progress, look forward with excitement, but especially inward for growth.

Prior to getting sick in late 2007, I was always on the go. With three kids and one on the way, there was always something to be done or a place to be. Being forced to slow down, made me become still. The beauty of being still was that I could concentrate on my thoughts and emotions, which really needed some attention.

In order to stay positive, I had to monitor which direction my attitude was going because it was my goal to remain positive. When you’re uncertain about your health and feel constant pain, it can be very challenging to stay optimistic but I knew it was vital to my well-being. Luckily, by keeping a positive outlook, I now find myself moving with progress towards better health. As my body began its healing, I decided to continue my journey to heal within. I didn’t start out with the intention of going on a spiritual journey, I was led there.

“The inward journey is about finding your own fullness, something that no one else can take away.” ~Deepak Chopra

With this process, I had to be completely honest with myself, which was difficult at first but overall, powerful. I felt a connection with my real self and the world. I had to remove the obstacles so I could delve into my true Being, revealing an astounding state of love and deeper understanding of myself and of others. A renewed excitement for life, a powerful state of personal responsibility, and filled with enlightenment.

“It isn’t until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are – not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within – that you can begin to take control.” ~Oprah

I believe you can either plant seeds that grow love, faith, understanding, compassion, cooperation, accountability, gratitude, generosity, and an openness with the world and yourself. Or fear, stinginess, insincerity, blame, lack of control, insecurity, selfishness, and/or judgement that creates inner turmoil. If you plant from both spectrums, it brings in shadows that cover the light that’s needed for growth. What are you growing in your garden?

I had to align my personality with my belief system, to lead with my spirit. Knowing that I create my reality and I choose the person that I am and not by anyone else. Just like anything else, it takes practice but the benefits are worth the transition. I know that no matter what happens, I’m going to learn and grow from the lessons The Divine reveals, and know that through it and after it, I will be alright. Life still gets busy and in order not to fall back into old habits, I expand my mind and spirit with inspiration, stillness, and awareness. I will end this with one of my favorite quotes:

“You can be powerful or pitiful, but you can’t be both.” ~Joyce Meyer

Wishing you Love, Light, & Blessings!

~Janelle

It seems these days that some people attach spirituality with negative emotions.

I believe it’s because they feel guilty or condemned. What is spirituality? I’d like to quote a definition that I feel is very well defined:

“Spirituality means becoming more aware, more responsible, looking at everything as sacred. Learning to interact with others in a way that is reverend. Creating harmony, cooperation, and sharing.” -Gary Zukav

I love that because there isn’t anything negative about those things. I have always been a spiritual person and never felt that my spirituality was bad as it was always the most loving part of me. However, I understand why some do with all the mixed signals there are in everyday life and messages. I believe in God as The Divine but no matter what you believe, whether it’s Source, Energy, or God; we are all spiritual beings. 

I have been on a spiritual journey for a long time but especially the past year. I’ve really been doing some “soul searching.” Although my spirit is loving, I began this process to work on some internal healing. I wanted to be in tune with my true authentic self and live to my fullest potential.

Parts of this were challenging new thoughts and beliefs that I had carried for years. I’ve really arrived in a place of peace that I’ve never felt before. This is largely due to taking personal responsibility for my life and spirit. This means I am responsible for my reality, my thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Complete responsibility for my heart, life, and soul. It is so empowering! I don’t focus on others opinions, actions, or words towards me anymore.

I don’t focus on someone else’s business or problems. I keep my focus on my own. I only work on what I can control. If another’s actions bother me to the point of bringing my positive energy down, I concentrate on why that triggers emotions in me so I can correct it. I do take suggestions into consideration, especially from those I know have my best interests in their heart. Sometimes another’s view can point something out to you.

When you know who you are, it’s easier to consider constructive criticism. Because if it is something you need to look at, you can in a loving way. When you know who you are and how incredible of a spirit you have, there isn’t time to focus on someone else’s behavior. I do look at them with empathy because what a person is dealing with internally, reflects outward. If they are behaving in a hurtful manner, they must be dealing with inner turmoil. You never know what another person is completely going through, just like they don’t know your complete inner thoughts and emotions. It is not your job to judge them, your job is to focus on being in a place of your full potential. So I bless them and go on my way, understanding they are on their own journey.

To live a great example by your own words and actions, not in judgement, is rewarding. Moving away from a positive mentality and place blame because of their behavior is not helpful to you. I know this can be challenging, it is something that I’ve had to work on myself but it can be done. Making a distinction from your true self and your ego helps. Is this really who I am or is it my ego? The spiritual path is not an easy one but very fulfilling and assists you when looking at yourself, others, and the world with great love. Here are a few more quotes that I love and resinate with me, I hope they do the same for you:

“Spiritual path is to remove obstacles so we can wake up and fully know that’s who we are. The most grounding awakening you’ll ever pursue. Spiritual instinct is to relax into the mystery of life as its happening. No matter what happens, allows you to know, you’re going to be alright.” “Spirituality is when you get very still and humble. Spirituality is where you lay claim to a ground of “being” within yourself. Where you say, “I want to be that, I really do. I want to be the person that I’m capable of being.” -Marianne Williamson

“Spiritual individuals are waking up to a dimension of their Being or their soul. It is the most real part of us. When one begins to really feel into the spiritual dimensions of their Being, they bump into love, compassion, beauty, real peace, and real joy. And that begins to be where they live their life from.” -Reverend Michael Beckwith

 Love & Blessings to you!

 –Janelle

I’ve been on a spiritual journey, (I’ll talk about that in another post soon), and have been studying a lot of different things.

One of the subjects I’ve been learning about is Philosophy. My oldest son is studying a course in college and sharing some information and educational links with me. I’ve been a really good student, even taking notes because I find it all very interesting and enjoy challenging my own thoughts.

One of the philosophers I recently learned about is Epicurus, known to many as “The Happy Philosopher.” One of the ideas he presented was about advertising. Epicurus lived 341-270 BCE, and there was advertising back then too. He blamed advertising for misleading happiness, although Epicurus believed in happiness and having a pleasurable life, his ideas to achieve this were different then the majority in his time.

He believed that there were 3 keys to happiness:

Watching the Super Bowl commercials I noticed that many promote what most, if not all, of us desire in life:

There was a particular soda commercial that says, “Open Happiness” and there are many ads that promote things like love, friends, or peace, if you buy and own their product.

These are all things you can’t buy but everywhere we turn there seems to be some tempting magazine, commercial, window ad saying, “If you buy me, you will have what you most desire.”  I’m not anti-advertising or that feel we shouldn’t have nice things, it’s just interesting to watch commercials with a different perspective. If someone were to ask you, “If you buy that, will that bring you love?” Logically and hopefully, you’d say, “No.” But I wonder what the constant messages are influencing. 

This is just a little challenge to pay attention and ask, what are they really trying to sell? Obviously, they want you to buy their product but how are they presenting it? Instead of, “Batteries Not Included,” it should say, “Happiness Not Included,” or “Happy Baby Not Included.” We have magnificent minds and spirits to decide for ourselves. 

How do you achieve long-lasting happiness, beauty, love, and/or friendship? Are the answers in any of those ads?  

Here are a couple quotes I’d like to share with you:

“It is better for you to be free of fear lying upon a pallet, than to have a golden couch and a rich table and be full of trouble.” ~Epicurus

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have, was once among the things you only hoped for.” ~Epicurus

When I say stop the noise, it means many things.

If I feel like my mind has too many thoughts running, tasks to be done, worries, conversations, etc., it can be overwhelming. I have a hard time being in the present moment and focusing so I need to stop the noise.

I make some time, even if it’s a few minutes, for quiet. I focus on my breath so I can relax. Or I’ll read something inspirational so my mind can only focus on that, then I step away and have my quiet time, basically meditate. There are times that I pray but it’s a conversation between me and the Divine. Meditation is silence, stillness, and essentially openness. In a moment with too much noise, I need quiet.

I make sure that I make time everyday and with children and responsibilities, this can be challenging so helpful. I’m more calm and focused when I do this. If I need inspiration, to make an important decision, or I’m not in the right positive mindset, I take a moment to myself. I feel like these type of things are noise:

Too much noise can bring down your positive flowing vibe. It can make you emotional, moody, and clouded. I don’t function at my best when there’s too much noise so I stop the noise. When I’m done with my “time-out,” some of the volume might go up but it’s turned down and less hectic. 

Think of yourself in the middle of a crowded room, music is blazing loud, so many people are talking that you can’t make out any conversations, someone is asking something from you but you can’t understand what they’re saying, and you can’t see your way to the door to get out.

How does this scenario make you feel? Does it feel peaceful or stressful? This is what noise represents to me and it’s stressful. I want to be peaceful so I turn down the noise.

What represents noise to you?

Love & Blessings,

Janelle

My automatic response for years was to “save someone” even if they rejected it.

I was coming from a loving place; wanting what I felt was better for that individual but realized if they weren’t needing that from me, I wasn’t helping. I have worked on understanding that each spirit is on their own journey. I love to assist in helping someone on their way but if they are not needing that from me, I need to respect that too.

This was something I struggled with for a long time. I was taught that if you have it, you should give it. That’s a great concept but only works if it is actually helping and not enabling with good intentions. I believe it’s important to give to what inspires you, church, organization, or individual, etc. Giving and receiving is an important flow of life.

Recently, I read a story from the book, Adventures In Manifesting – Success and Spirituality. One of the great stories in there was from Primrose Oteng. She’s had great experience in helping others, not as a people pleaser, but through her job with the United Nations. She offered excellent guidance in helping others by making it a co-creation, assisting the other person to feel empowered.

There’s a difference between “rescuing them” and “allowing.” “We also tend to judge people by our own standards of what should make them happy or unhappy.” Think about that for a minute. I really believe this to be true. I could definitely relate to that.

Did you know that being a “people pleaser” is a form of manipulation? If you are giving (your time, money, etc.) in order to gain approval and out of fear of rejection, it’s manipulating that person by giving in order to get something. This was a new thought that I recently challenged. I had never thought of it in this way before.

I thought I was doing a good thing because it was helping the other person but my motives behind it were imbalanced. Now, I take a little more time to make sure that by “helping,” it’s coming from my heart without any expectations of gaining in return. And if I’m really helping that person and myself by getting involved.

I believe that we all have the power to overcome our own obstacles and certainly, support from others is wonderful, we should work together but not as a “fix-it all.” How can that person grow and learn if we are doing all the work?

I’d like to ask you to think about this and share your thoughts.

Love & Blessings,

Janelle

Adventures In Manifesting book: www.whatareyoumanifesting.com

When I had completely lost my hair from the chemo, I didn’t realize how much I emphasized my beauty based on my hair and appearance.

I felt very insecure when my head was bald & as it started growing in but was very short. I had lost most of the hair on my body, including some of my eye lashes and eye brows. I enjoy wearing make-up but I had to be careful at first because my eye lashes were very frail and would fall out.  Even though I luckily had a good shaped head, I would cover it with a hat or a wig. I had also gained some weight during the whole stem cell process and after we got back to Colorado.

So here I was bald, no make-up, and overweight. I was extremely self-conscious. 

Only until my cousin’s wedding when I was surrounded by family did I finally go out in public without covering it. Still feeling less feminine, I had to work on those insecurities. I was a bit irritated that I had put so much emphasis on my appearance.

It was a great awakening though. I prayed and meditated about it and it finally hit me…people were always drawn to me because of my kindness and inner light/spirit. I got over feeling sorry for myself and started walking tall again, with my light shining. I always believed that a person is as beautiful as their inner spirit and this lesson was an excellent reminder. We all have an inner spiritual light, that’s one of the first things I notice about a person.

“Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works. And glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

 Now, after 9 months, it’s growing back curly (it was naturally straight before) and is a little over 4 inches with more white hairs than I remember having. (haha) I’m happy that it’s grown in curly because it helps me style it. But I won’t forget the lesson I learned. I’m grateful to all the people who supported me, especially my husband who continually said to me, “Hi Pretty,” or “You look beautiful.” 

Love & Blessings,

Janelle

A year ago I was preparing to embark on my stem cell journey. I’ve now surpassed that and almost at 9 months of recovery. There were many lessons I learned from Devic’s and the stem cell process. Some were more challenging than others but I’m grateful for them all. My feelings toward 2011 are loving, it began with immense hope and brought positive change and growth. At the beginning of 2012, I’m looking forward to continue growing stronger and stronger. I use to have the attitude “life only brings struggles” and I had no control over it. So struggles always came. My view changed to “life is a gift” and you do have control when you choose your perspective and blessings keep coming. No matter what I’ve endured, nothing can take my unique inner light away because The Divine lives within. No one can take your unique light away because The Divine lives within you too. New Year’s Day typically represents new beginnings. I like to experience new beginnings all year long, it’s a constant awakening & awareness process.

My wishes for you for 2012: to be surrounded by love, flooded by happiness, & blankets of blessings all year long!

My old saying; “2011 will be like heaven, my new; 2012’s prosperous wishing well”

Love & Blessings,

Janelle

“When you’re going through ample change in difficult moments, you need love & support. Embrace the ones that did, send well wishes to the ones that didn’t, & trust that the Divine plan is ultimately for greatness.” -JMM

Different relationships can be challenging whether it’s a partner, spouse, friend, colleague, family member, or acquaintance. Today I wanted to learn more about how to handle relationships of any kind. So I began to read, meditate, pray, and study ways that can help me in this area. This is what I’ve concluded: (not necessarily in this order, except #1)

#1 – Love: it is the strongest power & energy out there. Walk in love and treat others with love. Staying in a loving place will dissipate all that isn’t love. Self love is so important so that you can truly love others. We reflect how we feel inside and if within us is love, so will our actions & intentions.

#2 – Be honest: You can be honest without being confrontational, especially if you handle a person with understanding and acknowledging their feeling &/or opinion because everyone wants to feel heard. But you choose whether it hurts you or not, whether you accept it or not, whether you will act on it or not.

#3 – Personal responsibility: We may have a feeling or thought that we feel is justified but by staying in that opinion or mind frame, you get stuck. We have to keep our power and acknowledge that we choose how to perceive something or if we will make a situation negative or turn it into a learning experience. There is no movement if we choose to blame another person. You can only control yourself so what progress will you make pointing the finger towards something or someone you can’t control.

#4 – Learn: There is always a lesson to be learned within ourselves, especially with a challenging situation or difficult person. If we are all teachers, then let’s learn from and teach each other with this gift.

#5 – Ask: Ask yourself what your ultimate goal is. What kind of relationship would you like to have with this person? Is the opinion/thought that I’m forming a true statement or is it coming from a place of fear or hurt? What end result would I honestly like to have?

#6 – Breathe: Take a moment if you are confused or upset. I don’t know about you but I don’t think clearly if I’m upset so I’m learning to take a moment and breathe until I gain some clarity. I view this action as an act of love & respect. “I don’t want to say or do something that might be hurtful, so I’m going to take a moment to collect myself.”

#7 – Forgive: We all make mistakes and that’s how we learn. If we want understanding and forgiveness then we have to give it too. Think back to a time when you wanted forgiveness & to receive that is exalting. Don’t carry the weight & cloud of being unforgiving, break free. Whether it’s to forgive yourself or another, please give yourself that benefit.

I’m sure there are more but this is basically what I feel helps. I hope it helps you as well.

Love & Blessings,

Janelle

Yesterday I went through some old Christmas cards that I’ve kept over the years. The pile was large and I needed clear out some old to make room for new. I came across several cards that had touching things to say towards me and/or my family. One in particular touched my heart because I hadn’t read it in years, in fact forgot about it. It was from someone I worked with years ago. It was a beautiful card and inside it said, “Janelle, thank you for always being so kind to me when nobody else was. -Jennifer.” I didn’t remember receiving this card but it really touched my heart. She expressed her gratitude & made me smile again as I read it yesterday. I thought, this is the person I like to be. To make a difference in someone’s life like that with simple kindness can make a huge difference. I know it has for mine and I want to continue doing this for others. Of course, this was a card I will continue to hold onto as a beautiful reminder. Wherever you are Jennifer, thank you and I wish you great happiness!

It’s Christmas Eve today and I wish all of you – great health, happiness, & love!

Love & Blessings,

Janelle